The Bachelor Sucks

No, I’m not talking about Jason Mesnick. Jason Mesnick  

It’s the show itself and the outcome of ABC’s The Bachelor’s “most dramatic” season.  But why is everyone so surprised? No matter how the PR machine spins it, one marriage in thirteen seasons is worse than just unlucky odds.

Surely we have learned once and for all, the concept of this “reality” show has been intrinsically flawed from the get-go. In truth, there’s absolutely nothing real (or right) about dating 25 gorgeous people at one time and being forced to choose one after just a few weeks to supposedly spend the rest of your life with. 

Go ahead and throw your stones, but after two disastrous tries (one on each side), while Jason may be the latest poor schmuck to buy into this fractured fairy tale, he’s hardly the only huMAN not strong enough to withstand the artful manipulation of 25 hand-picked, eager to please women throwing themselves at him all at once. I’d venture to say there’s more than just one lady he “still has feelings for”, but why all the indignation?  

In less than a year Deanna was ready to “spend the rest of her life” with both Brad and Jesse, then wanted Jason back.  Jason proposed to Deanna and Melissa in back-to-back seasons but then asked Molly for another chance just weeks after his second season ended.  The entire premise of the show doesn’t do anything to encourage loyalty or monogamy, in fact quite the opposite. But everyone involved acts as if they didn’t realize what they signed up for, and this includes the audience.

Because dating around is highly overrated, I admit I’ve thought I wouldn’t mind being The Bachelorette, but my rules would be very different. For starters, I’d want jeans for the  first meeting.  Throw out the suits and gowns, who cares how you clean up?  If you look good in denim, you’ll look good in anything.  What can I say, there’s just something about a guy’s derrière in a great pair of jeans!  

I would have the men plan the dates because I don’t care if a producer knows how to woo me.  And the only one getting flowers should be the girl.  Instead of roses I’d hand out tools, figuring if a guy accepts a hammer or drill, he’d know how to use it at least as well as me.  

Once I’ve had my fun “falling in lust” with all these amazing men, my very heartfelt proposal to the one left standing would be, “will you… … be my boyfriend”?  There aren’t very many normal courtships ready to take the plunge after just a few weeks, so once my head stops spinning from having all those men fighting over lil ‘ol me, we would need to be far removed from fantasy land before we could even begin to consider spending the rest of real life with each other.  

Finally I would add this disclaimer:  “If for any reason my first choice is unable to fulfill his duties, I reserve the right to change my mind and date any of the remaining 24 until I’ve ruled each and every one out as good boyfriend or potential mate material.     

I’m about as die-hard of a romantic as you’ll find, but even I know the reason a movie ends just when the couple gets together is because “happily ever after” is hard to come by.  We just need to look at The Bachelor as the ultimate chick flick!  

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One thought on “The Bachelor Sucks

  1. I think you need to do whatever it takes and get yourself on the show! You have great ideas and they are real! Not just some producer’s fantasies!

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